Why Shadow Whimsy?

I'm just me, walking beside you. Not a guru or a guide or a spiritual leader or teacher- just me. With you.

With a flame in my heart and devotion in my lungs, I don't seek to be extraordinary but I don't want any day to just be ordinary.

I want the mundane to become music

The stillness to sing

Fear to frolic

Darkness to dance

…Not in a loud way,

In the way that's just mine.

Jesus told us to pray in closets. Mary cherished the Word in her heart. There's something special about holding some things quietly sacred. I don't always know the balance of when to release. Because, on the other hand, some things are meant to be shared. If we don't share, we hoard. Everything in life has a cycle of input, metabolization, and release before it's recycled.

I don't want to be a dam. I want to be rivers flowing - you read it right, river (S), because in one of the most recent visions I saw the dam of my heart burst forth into at least 4 rivers. And I cried so hard.

You know how some of us search lifelong for our grand purpose?… Like, THAT thing that we're here for? The reason we write… one quiet thing emerged with such simplicity for me in December 2025 when I was considering how to describe the first little book I wrote. And whenever I get lost in meaning paralysis, I come back to it.

I'm here to be an alive reminder that the journey of seeking Wisdom, connecting to the Divine, and transformation can be full of whimsy and wonder. This seems so simple, but how many of us have turned away from even exploring religion or spirituality because of all the piousness involved? How many of us have wanted to grow in wisdom but avoided it because it seems too serious, complicated, or served with a heaping ladle of shame? And how many of us have been turned off completely from connecting to anything at all because of the people we associate with certain texts or traditions?

Wonder. And Whimsy. We need to remember that we were meant for this. And that spiritual and religious exploration can be a magical experience.

Why Shadow? I'll tell you why.

Because through my personal journey, I have found that things aren't quite what we've been sold in the Bible. Not fully. And this is probably true of most religious texts. Why? Because people are people. Period. End of story. And people want power. The people in power make sure you get the version of the truth that benefits them. If you don't, the systems feeding their prestige, power, and ability to control you break. And with that dismantling, their cute ugly little egos have nothing left.

…I digress…

Shadow. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is black and white.

Nothing. Even light itself exists on a spectrum. And what is pure white light?… A combination of every color that exists.

Truth is like that. REAL truth. Not the kind we were sold for systems. REAL truth is prismatic and crystallic. REAL truth is almost always a paradox. And if you arrive at a black and white conclusion, you've likely only skimmed one little crevice and called it all-encompasing.

White light. Pure white light. Is the combination of every color that exists. And the truth of God, the Universe, Energy, the Divine, Spirit, Nature… is like that. And we have the choice to be approach this magnificence in Wonder.

So, Shadow is my way of saying Spectrum. The truth is somewhere between extremes almost always. AND Shadow Whimsy is also my way of saying “darkness” and the things we fear that have been villainized and weaponized to keep us in self-imprisoned cages can be re-approached with love. And once they are, they tend to put away their teeth and claws. At the core of everything and every being and every energy is one desire - LOVE. And some of the most seemingly twisted things that exist are completely transformed when offered the invitation to be heard and loved. They re-integrate with new roles. So much more harmony is possible in our own lives when we realize that the battle is about understanding and love, listening and communication, compromise and cooperation- not expulsion and banishment by default. This isn't the only way.

I walk WITH you.

Not a guru. Or a teacher. Or a leader.

I just want to be With.

I want to learn to share openly the things that I experience in my connection with the Divine. I've been hesitant forever because I never want the focus to be on me. I never want someone to measure their experiences against mine. I understand that not everyone can relate. All fears aside, I think it's time I start to share. And if it gives just one person the courage to step outside their indoctrinated beliefs and remember that God invites us to WONDER and WHIMSY and meets us in the places of SHADOW, then maybe that's enough.

That white light…

The first time I saw it was the first time I quantum leaped. And the most recent time I saw it, was a few days ago when I -in wonder - showed up to a Reiki group meditation. It must be the light the Bible talks about because it's nothing like the light we see in this world.

I'm shadow whimsy

I explore spirituality, philosophy, ancient traditions, world religions, nature, physics, quantum science, and psychology with WONDER, as DEVOTION, from a heart of LOVE, for the ALL that IS, the One who gives us BREATH, the LIGHT in the darkness, the One who is All and in All. I do not pursue knowledge for intellectualism, I pursue it as treasures hidden in plain sight. I seek it like treasure, with delight, knowing that every piece of information holds a pattern that has been etched into existence as a love letter that we might more deeply know and experience the LIGHT that IS.

I'm excited to share more with you. And if you're like I was and you fear “Hell” if you deviate from whatever book you were indoctrinated with then I leave you with the very thing that led me deeper in my journey for Truth…

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What if the tension inside you is not “the enemy”? What if the tension inside you is an internal mechanism given to you to point you to the truth? What if it's not lying to you - what if they wanted you to believe it was so you would believe them instead?

When you approach a topic like heaven and hell and feel your heart on fire trying to muster up enough faith to believe in it when alarms are going off inside you- what if that's not your lack of faith? What if it's something deeper trying to be heard. Something that's trying to say it doesn't feel right and you can't fully imagine it because it's not the truth.

Now, you have two options. Explore the questions. Or don't. But ask yourself this… “What is my motivation?”

If your motivation is fear of Hell- then you are choosing to walk in the energy of fear.

If your motivation is to to know the truth so you can love in truth- then your motivation is love.

I believe in a God that IS LOVE and has woven that not only into the fibre of our being, but as a compass to truth.

If you fear deviating from the book of your indoctrination because you believe HELL or PUNISHMENT lay on the other end if you do,

I know the fear. I know the pain. I know how scary it is to believe that maybe the truth was planted in YOU all along- not in THEM.

If you believe in a God of LOVE, then follow LOVE. LOVE wants to know Intimately, through personal experience, relationally. LOVE doesn't fear your questions. LOVE doesn't fear the shadow. And LOVE will always meet you when you walk towards IT.

Fear of:( ____) is not the path to LOVE.

Truth is.

So, come with wonder. And remember - even wisdom can be whimsy. This journey can be FUN. And silly. And vibrant. And light. And beautiful. Even in the shadows.

Love,

Shadow Whimsy - Steph